Lord, Change my Attitude!

Yesterday I began a new chapter with a new job.  My first day was VERY long, and exhilarating exhausting!  Today, I woke up early and started the day with a new Bible study "Lord, Change My Attitude".  It was very good, and as I sat there trying to absorb his words and the Bible, and the prayer I had just prayed I realized it was storming outside.  A rainy Monday.  One of those things I had always said I am so glad I don't have to go to work in that.  '

While I wasn't headed to the office for several more hours (hopefully, sans children), I did have plenty of "homework" ahead of me.  There was bread to bake, laundry to start and the daily homeschooling of my preschooler.  I got off my feet and began the day's work.  I found a surprise in the laundry, a pull-up had been left behind that I didn't catch and silly puddy on my favorite blanket of my 2 year old.  I tried to brush the frustration aside and focus.  What?  Why didn't you flush the toilet and wash your hand after you used the bathroom?  Focus.  It's time to start some school work.  However, between the storm (complete with thunder and lightening), the phone ringing, no one knowing what a 10 looked like, spilling water on our work and the constant fighting between siblings, I LOST IT!  I was looking for the number to the local private school we had considered ( I am still on board as I write).  I was determined that obviously I couldn't do it all, no way.  I was sinking and all before 11 in the morning!  The song "Rainy Days and Mondays" was blaring in my head and I usually love the Carpenters. 

Where was I going wrong?  Was I not hearing right?  Had God switched the play book on me while I wasn't looking?  Is this a BLITZ?  

I stopped (admittedly angrily) and told the kids, we're done!  Took a moment to reevaluate.  Deep breaths, some tears and then broke up another fight. 

Here is the truth that came to me from my study this morning.  "God hears your complaining and your wrong attitudes, and it drives Him crazy.  WHY?  Because a grumbler doubts God's character and denies that He is at work.  When you complain, you are denying that God can and will be in control of the situation."

I was complaining about all the things I needed to do silently in my head.  My attention was divided amongst the timers and demands all around me.  I couldn't do anything to 100% because I was spreading myself too thin.  I began to complain because the perfectionist in me can't stand to be wrong, look stupid or not win.  I was worried that something was going to fall.  Instead I fell.

I should have stopped when I was at the edge and said "getting XXX done in this amount of time may not be feasible today.  What can I get done reasonably without alienating everything around me?"  I don't have to do it all, I can't do it all, and I will never be less than who God has made me to be if  I don't. 

LORD, change my attitude~