Lord, Change my Attitude!

Yesterday I began a new chapter with a new job.  My first day was VERY long, and exhilarating exhausting!  Today, I woke up early and started the day with a new Bible study "Lord, Change My Attitude".  It was very good, and as I sat there trying to absorb his words and the Bible, and the prayer I had just prayed I realized it was storming outside.  A rainy Monday.  One of those things I had always said I am so glad I don't have to go to work in that.  '

While I wasn't headed to the office for several more hours (hopefully, sans children), I did have plenty of "homework" ahead of me.  There was bread to bake, laundry to start and the daily homeschooling of my preschooler.  I got off my feet and began the day's work.  I found a surprise in the laundry, a pull-up had been left behind that I didn't catch and silly puddy on my favorite blanket of my 2 year old.  I tried to brush the frustration aside and focus.  What?  Why didn't you flush the toilet and wash your hand after you used the bathroom?  Focus.  It's time to start some school work.  However, between the storm (complete with thunder and lightening), the phone ringing, no one knowing what a 10 looked like, spilling water on our work and the constant fighting between siblings, I LOST IT!  I was looking for the number to the local private school we had considered ( I am still on board as I write).  I was determined that obviously I couldn't do it all, no way.  I was sinking and all before 11 in the morning!  The song "Rainy Days and Mondays" was blaring in my head and I usually love the Carpenters. 

Where was I going wrong?  Was I not hearing right?  Had God switched the play book on me while I wasn't looking?  Is this a BLITZ?  

I stopped (admittedly angrily) and told the kids, we're done!  Took a moment to reevaluate.  Deep breaths, some tears and then broke up another fight. 

Here is the truth that came to me from my study this morning.  "God hears your complaining and your wrong attitudes, and it drives Him crazy.  WHY?  Because a grumbler doubts God's character and denies that He is at work.  When you complain, you are denying that God can and will be in control of the situation."

I was complaining about all the things I needed to do silently in my head.  My attention was divided amongst the timers and demands all around me.  I couldn't do anything to 100% because I was spreading myself too thin.  I began to complain because the perfectionist in me can't stand to be wrong, look stupid or not win.  I was worried that something was going to fall.  Instead I fell.

I should have stopped when I was at the edge and said "getting XXX done in this amount of time may not be feasible today.  What can I get done reasonably without alienating everything around me?"  I don't have to do it all, I can't do it all, and I will never be less than who God has made me to be if  I don't. 

LORD, change my attitude~ 

No sugar Sugar...

Ok, so here's the skinny.  I have decided to take a 30 day no sugar challenge.  I began this trial on Monday the 2nd.  I really wanted to get back to basics, cleanse myself of unusual habits and really rediscover how food tasted again.  Being aware of sugar in everything you consume is a BIG challenge.  I tend to make everything from scratch at home from bread to salad dressing and everything in between.  Knowing food ingredients hasn't been a problem.  However, cutting the few teaspoons I do have daily in things like coffee and tea has been a colossal issue!  I never thought of myself as "addicted".  I have always prided myself (wait for the fall) in eating as naturally as possible.  Anything we consume at home is 95% on a raw/natural level.  I rarely add sauces to food, cheese to vegetables or anything of the like.  What I have discovered is that I have consumed just enough sugar daily that now that I have removed any sugar intake I have come to a horrifying conclusion.  I AM ADDICTED TO SUGAR!  I feel weak, lathargic, gripy, I snap over nothing, I am not sleeping well, and I have tried to quell the cravings with carbs, which don't make it go away!  I had the misconception that you had to intake a large amount of sugar daily to feel any side affects if you didn't reach that intake daily.  I am very mistaken.  I actually have reconsidered my plight almost hourly the last two days.  I suddenly sympathize with heroine and crack addicts, I never had that empathy before.  I realize I am comparing a hard core drug with......lightbulb, another hard core drug!  Oh My Goodness, it is the same thing!  The only difference is that sugar is legal and in EVERYTHING that is not homemade.  Even jam.  We are an organic family, however that means nothing when you are concertedly cutting sugar out of your diet.  I am not even having ketchup!  I know the reward will be worth the journey.  I have seen it already.  I also know that as I turn the corner into the next week, it will consume my thoughts less and less.  When I have my first bite of something sweet, which I am going to try to extend beyond 30 days and allow a sweet treat at my daughter's birthday next month, it will taste all that much sweeter.  Without the fogginess of an addiction, I will really see how truly sweet is my life!

Tell me, will I suffer much?

Ok, I will admit that I have been anti-blogging.  I frequent other blogs when an idea arises and there is a blog name attached.   There are always cute layouts and bright ideas when I have visited these blogs, yet my neurotic need for privacy has always crippled me from jumping on board.  However, in an attempt to try new things in this new decade, I have resolved that "blogging" might be a fun way to get creative juices flowing!  SOOOOOOOOOOO here goes.....